Did I really last post in May? [* Actually -- updates have since been added, and back-dated, to reflect chronological order]
I can't believe the summer is wrapping up. It has been the summer I have prayed for since about 6 years ago. From the season I was expecting to become a parent, it was painfully clear to me that the grace in which I desired to raise my children was simply nothing I had to offer. I don't know how, but this type-A, over-achieving, working-80-hours-a-week pediatric intern who was terrified of causing the death of one of her patients on an over-night call simply didn't have the rhythm of restful grace in her life to offer her children. It's been my prayer since that time that God would introduce to my life some understanding of his grace that might give me not just room to breathe for myself, but the possibility of modeling for my children something other than a struggle to let go of perfect.
It is funny now that homeschooling has been one part of that journey. I remember explaining to Heather a few years ago how I'd be tempted to homeschool, but that the pressure of planning my children's curriculum, and always wondering if I'm missing something, and feeling like their every academic struggle is my own failure, would bring out the very worst in me and leave my children with less of a mom rather than more. Above all, I was sure I shouldn't homeschool because it would simply be too much stress.
A year ago we signed up for a week of camp with the author of Grace Based Parenting. Regardless of what model of discipline we used, the one thing I'd known for years was that I deeply desired grace to me a key element in our home. I couldn't resist spending some time with the one author who'd decided that that was the key element he wanted in his parenting, too. The conference didn't make us do a 180 in parenting. Instead, it was a bit of breathing room, a little additional light and perspective, and a subtle tweak to our family life.
About the same time I came across the ebook Teaching from Rest, and an entire community of mothers contemplating what it means to live lives that are restful and teach from a heart that is at peace. No amount of organization can quell the chaos and interruptions in a home school that includes toddlers and preschoolers, but the heart of the home can vastly affect the underlying tone and message in the midst of the inevitable chaos.
There are others, but suffice it to say that God's brought into my view a variety of sources with similar support. And I think it's really showing in our home and in our learning. And I'm so very grateful.
Soooooo... what happened to the blog? I have needed some time away from the computer, which seems to suck me into the late hours of the night. I have pictures. I have many posts about sweet Joshua that are mentally written. I have many reflections on the ways Abby's growing and learning and the things that Jonathan's discovering. And I have some scary close-up photos I took of a spider in our kitchen this morning ;) In the next few weeks I'll definitely get much of that up.
In the mean time, I put up a post about our past year at another site. A few years ago I made our family blog private out of concerns for safety, and since it includes our last name :) In the interim, I've been richly blessed by the online presence of the homeschool community. Reading the review of a mother who has implemented a curriculum in her home helps flesh out what it looks like in real life. Hearing another mother's account of how Morning Time goes in her home reassures me that being interrupted 5 times in one sentence doesn't mean that reading poetry isn't working. So I've put up a public site in which to share a few of our experiences as well.
You can find tonight's reflections on our first year homeschooling here:
The One That Was Going to Be Titled "What I Learned in Kindergarten"
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